Imagine not doing a single piece of laundry for three years, or never having to put gas in your car because it magically gets washed and detailed daily without you even noticing. Picture coming back from vacation and your suitcase being almost instantly empty; the clothes get cleaned and find their way back to your closet without any effort on your part. Imagine being able to run to the store by yourself without arranging child care because there was always someone there to watch your kids. Visualize living beside the ocean with warm weather all year round.It's hard to believe that the day dream above was my reality for so long that it became my normal.Today my reality is a very messy house, a dirty car with a chronically empty gas tank, piles of laundry everywhere and snow in September. I’m not gonna lie, there are aspects of repatriation that are less than ideal.The summer was clearly my honeymoon phase. I LOVED life in Calgary. The weather was good, I was home all day with my kids, my husband was on holidays, we were constantly going out to eat, riding our bikes downtown and checking out every festival we could. It was such a welcome change from the somewhat isolated life we were living in Congo.
Then there was September. We bought and moved into a new house and started new jobs. I went back to work for the first time in nine years, the kids started a new school, in a new country. My husband’s parents came to stay for two weeks right after we moved in and we also had to find time to celebrate my daughter’s birthday as well as my own. It was the busiest month we’ve had since I can remember! There was so much change, that for a bit, we were just trying to keep our heads above water. If I didn’t snap in September, I should be good for the unforeseeable future.
Vegas was my light at the end of the tunnel. It was a trip I had planned with one of my France besties and I'd been looking forward to it since the planning stages in Congo.When I thought I would scream if I saw another box, my husband kept encouraging me to push through til Vegas.And Vegas was just the “me time” I had been craving. Ladies, if you can swing it on the home-front, there is NOTHING I can recommend more than filling up on soul-food with girlfriends. I was blissfully happy, without a moving box in site. 
After an amazing long weekend, the plane landed back in Calgary and I walked out of the airport without a jacket. My insides ceases up from the cold and I proceeded to scrape the snow and ice off my car that had been sitting in the parking lot for the past four days.I went from blissfully happy to instantly miserable. Apparently I'm affected by the weather.
“What did we do?” was the question I asked my husband when we found ourselves in the middle of a far-too-early blizzard.
Cue the repatriation-blues.
I’ve heard about it. I’ve read about. And now I’ve lived it.I went to work the next day ‘dragging’ a bit, to put it lightly. Spoiled expat-Lisa was used to having someone drive her where she needed to be, and watch her kids if she needed them to. Her house was always immaculate, not a dirty dish or piece of unclean laundry in sight.The new me was wondering if I’d be able to make it across town without running out of gas because I was too cold to pump gas and frankly, if I'm being honest here in the circle of trust, I haven’t filled my own tank in years. My kids were running out of clean underwear and the garbage was overflowing because as I returned from Vegas, Kev had to go to a conference. This expat princess was about to be reunited with what it’s like to take out the garbage; also something I haven’t done in about five years. I know... it's hard for me to relate as well; and it was my life!I went from not working, yet having a full time cleaner and nanny; to working full time, shuttling my kids to school and then teaching a room full of five year olds. Where did my alone time go? How was I supposed to write, work out, and get a Google-degree in any random thought that crossed my mind?“Welcome to the real world.” my brothers’ voices rang in my ears while I teetered on the edge of sanity, wondering if coming home had been a mistake.But wait!!! There’s hope!I gave myself the pep talk that I will likely give myself for the rest of my life....If you can live in CONGO for TWO YEARS, as a blonde haired woman that loves North American convenience and all things shiny and new; you can pretty much do ANYTHING!Obviously, I didn't completely break down, or I wouldn't be here to tell about it. My pity party was short lived because I looked around to change my perspective.Seek and you shall find...In walked Rachel Hollis and her Rise podcast that I flicked on after I dropped off my kids. She’s motivating, inspiring and shares in my core beliefs: be the best damn you that you can be. Her philosophy: Exercise, wake up early to have time for what’s important to you, take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of the people in your life better. For the travellers: put on your own mask before assisting others.Next, Mother Nature blows in with her Chinook winds; melting the snow and having fall arrive as it should. I was no longer feeling like Elsa the ice queen(but am slightly concerned about how I will deal with my first Canadian winter in a very long time).My husband gifts me the wonderful news that while I was in Vegas he planned our Christmas trip which I was feeling like I didn't have time to do. I won't spill the beans on the location just yet because we're already waffling.Some fun social events showed up on my calendar that did not involve five year olds.
We hired a cleaner. Because if we had one before we were married and had kids, and when I didn't work, we definitely need one now. It's help we need and appreciate, so money well spent in my mind!And finally, I’ve plunged into the local creative scene in Calgary: a place where my extrovert self can pass hours chatting with people, sharing my story, hearing theirs, and having an English speaking market for my books. My husband asks why I don’t just relax on the weekends, but I’m so passionate about my side hustle that this fuels me, not drains me.
When the snow melted, I felt like I had a bit of a Spring in my own right. After a rough, slightly dark post-Vegas 'moment', I soon found myself bursting with enthusiasm: an exciting business plan, a new book idea frantically dictated into my phone while driving because it was pouring out of my mind faster than I could keep track of, two other books that have been a long time coming will be ready for Amazon before Christmas(watch this space), and another business idea popped into my mind, granted the second likely won't amount to anything but it still feels so freaking good to have the creative juices of my brain flowing.Repatriating isn’t all roses. Depending on the day, the reality of my new life can be a tough pill to swallow at times. BUT, we all have the ability to create the life we want, or at least change the way we see where we're currently at.I choose to keep writing, make time to exercise, eat well, have a day job, and maintain a social life, while being a Mom, wife, sister, daughter. Sacrifices are made, and alarms are set earlier than I ever thought possible, but life goes on; even if the laundry basket is overflowing. I'm trying to celebrate what's right because I've come to learn that things change, locations change, people change, for better or worse. I no longer say "never" about anything in the future(because, Congo). Although the weather isn't Calgary's most attractive feature; I'll still choose snow and filling my own gas tank over malaria and undrinkable water any day of the week!
